tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3499521484466177543.post7855767444201781897..comments2023-10-19T08:46:39.164-07:00Comments on A Dad's Heart: The Power of Traditional Gender RolesCameron Phillipshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11258084524216001970noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3499521484466177543.post-72599594023311405972010-11-25T22:17:38.561-08:002010-11-25T22:17:38.561-08:00From the moment I knew my husband and I would be t...From the moment I knew my husband and I would be together some 15 years ago, I made my conviction clear: IF we had kids, one or the other of us would stay home while they were home in the early years.<br /><br />I'd had plenty of exposure to stay-at-home dads: two of my sisters had their kids earlier and both husbands stayed at home -- mostly because the women had the bigger careers and it worked out that way.<br /><br />As it turned out, my husband's career was in full swing when we decided to have kids so I won the grand prize of stay-at-home.<br /><br />My sisters' husbands were often the ONLY dads (this was the med/late '80s and the '90s) in the playgrounds. When I had my first I met a couple of stay-at-home dads. But lately, at the play gym, at the schoolyard, on the 'net, I am seeing dads-a-plenty as the primary.<br /><br />What an awesome change! I have long advocated for what you are expressing. Until we have parity in every sense of performing duty: mat/pat leaves, career advancements with flexibility, the right to define ourselves as functional individuals within teams, women will not reach the ultimate goal of equality.karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15428202747324083680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3499521484466177543.post-13522440693091762642010-10-12T10:07:49.968-07:002010-10-12T10:07:49.968-07:00Thanks for your comments, guys.
You know, it'...Thanks for your comments, guys.<br /><br />You know, it's funny. When we were boys, if we were asked what we wanted most from our fathers, we all would have probably said, in one form or another, "more time." Somewhere in that transition from childhood to adulthood, we can forget that.<br /><br />When things were really tough for me, I just reminded myself that my child was getting the gift of my undivided attention and unconditional love. In return, when I was fully present with him, rather than stuck in my head, the darkness would lift.<br /><br />As a final aside, I remember asking an at home father, as part of a radio documentary I was doing, "How do you feel about not being the provider in the family anymore?"<br /><br />He replied, "I provide for my family every day, I just don't earn the money any more."<br /><br />Men have been culturally programmed to have a very narrow definition of "provide." Kudos to you both for broadening that definition.Cameron Phillipshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11258084524216001970noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3499521484466177543.post-2173261559577833142010-10-11T21:24:49.762-07:002010-10-11T21:24:49.762-07:00My sentiments exactly. My self-worth, like many gu...My sentiments exactly. My self-worth, like many guys, is tied to working and earning. When we stay home, we struggle to feel good about our contribution.<br /><br />But I've been making some progress getting over that and it took some time for me to realize that my wife earning more than me created an opportunity - the opportunity to choose to be more involved with my family.Jay Palterhttp://homemadedad.ca/more-economic-opportunity-for-women-gives-men-more-domestic-options/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3499521484466177543.post-78538706822561418412010-10-04T20:46:39.266-07:002010-10-04T20:46:39.266-07:00This is exactly how I've been feeling. My wife...This is exactly how I've been feeling. My wife and I decided I'd stay home because she makes more money than I did. I struggled for a while with the fact that I wasn't making any money to help provide for us. It took something(still not sure what) to make me realize that I contribute in ways that are just as, if not more so, important than financially. My kids know they will always have someone who loves them unconditionally home with them. They have that security, and I love being there with them.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00057538442944466989noreply@blogger.com