Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Congratulations! It's a Kidney Stone!

“You know,” said the paramedic as I was writhing on the floor of the ambulance, “they say that kidney stones are the closest pain to childbirth."

“Yeah,” I gasped, “but at least my wife got five minutes between one minute contractions…plus we got a baby in the end.”

Frankly, I think it is largely men who give the “kidney stones are like childbirth” line (I’d love to hear from any stone-passing moms out there) but without starting a gender war, if childbirth is only a fraction of the pain of passing a stone, my already heroic wife deserves another medal.  I can honestly say that having kidney stones was the only time in my life I begged a paramedic to bash me upside the head with an oxygen tank and then run me over with an ambulance.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I was in complete awe of my wife when she gave birth: no pain medication and no epidurals. But now I have even more respect and admiration for her, if that is possible.

And for the record, I am totally revoking any utterance I ever made like, “Oh honey, if I could go through this childbirth for you, I would. I really would.”

I'm not one for traditional gender roles, but I'm happy to leave childbirth to women.


  1. My mother was a professional sick person; she took a lot of pain pills. There are many people like that. It's just how they are used to getting attention. I always remember she's the daughter of alcoholics who'd leave her alone at Christmas time.

  2. This is an awesome blog. Thanks for sharing. I have a little girl and I do love being around her every spare moment I have even many I dont.
    To add to your post, my mom, who pushed out 3 boys naturally, she sais, there's really no way for me to verify that. Passed a kidney stone a few months ago. It was almost the size of a small lentil. She did say it hurt like childbirth. I'm with you though, leave that to the women.

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  4. I never knew the kidney stone could be so painful really. Keep well.
    ~ Herman Swan

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  6. Dr. Michael Traver of Western Michigan Urological Associates discusses kidney stones, symptoms, evaluation and treatment.